Writer's Remorse | Writer waxings and woes, on everything from client complaints to fee finagling

Think before you vent!

Like most writers, I am a member of a number of writer’s forums around the net. They can be great for networking and support, but lately I’ve noticed some of my colleagues using them to

post ugly rants about clients. Not surprisingly, the vast majority of their vitrol is aimed at content mills. As much as I believe content mills should be avoided, that doesn’t mean it’s OK to publicly badmouth your clients. Here’s why.

One recent rant was from a writer who was infuriated because they had been told they were no longer needed. Welcome to freelancing honey! The very nature of our work means that job security is just not an option. Read any contract you sign carefully. Almost all of them state that the client is free to terminate the agreement at any time (and so are you!). Therefore screaming about it in a public forum just makes you look bad. Sure, it sucks when we lose a gig, but that’s one of the risks we take as freelancers.

Another reason not to publicly rant about a client? Content mills are dropping like flies, and many legit sites and publications are tightening their belts and reducing staff. If you were let go, chances are others were too, including editors and others that will find new positions and be in a position to hire again. Do you really want to be remembered by them because you were the one that publicly flamed them to a crisp?

Please, think carefully before posting public rants. That’s not to say it’s wrong to publicly post about a deadbeat client or one that stole your work, but for more personal squabbles, it’s best to keep it to yourself.

Why content mills will never succeed

Chances are you can easily name at least one content mill. Most everyone who has ever written for the web probably can. I bet you can also name at least one that has closed, or is dying a slow death thanks to Panda, Google’s tool aimed at improving search results by filtering out content mills, link farms, and spam blogs. Wisegeek, Demand Studios, Suite 101…they and many more have all suffered. Will they recover? The chances are slim to none. Why? Let’s take a look.

The first reason is because many of them just haven’t learned anything from Panda. Instead of trying to legitimize themselves and improve their content, they keep looking for ways to cheat the system and get around it. That’s simply not going to work. Google will always be one step ahead.

The second reason is because writers are starting to smarten up. They’re realizing that content mills don’t look good on their resumes and that their talent is worth a lot more than the pitiful pay (or even worse, ad revenue only) that most of them pay. As a result, the content on these sites will only get worse as the highly talented writers go elsewhere, leaving only ESL and other writers willing to work for free or close to it.

This leads to the third and final reason. The audience for these sites is dwindling, and not just because of Panda. Readers are tiring of the poor writing and ad-infested pages these sites offer. They’ve earned their poor reputations and that’s keeping readers away.

Content mills are just plain bad news.

Four things you shouldn't do when writing your own eBook

Thanks to the Kindle, Nook and iPad, eBooks are wildly popular these days. It’s become popular for authors to retain eBook rights themselves and release their back catalogs as eBooks. This allows them to keep most of the profit instead of lining the pockets of a big publisher. Indie authors are enjoying unprecedented exposure and it’s easier than ever for new authors to break in. However, just how does a new author get noticed among all the new eBooks being released each month? Here’s what NOT to do.

Don't follow the “magic formula” hawked by many websites. I’m sure you’ve seen sites selling eBooks that guarantee to show you the way to make millions by writing eBooks. Don’t fall for it. More often than not, these books simply tell you to write eBooks promising to show people how to make millions writing eBooks. In other words, the only one that will make money is the scammer who got you to buy the book. It’s nothing more than a play on the old “Make $$$ Stuffing Envelopes!” scam. People who responded and paid were told to put out ads telling people they could make big money stuffing envelopes. Then when they replied, those people told them to do the same thing.

Don't be sloppy. Proofreading and editing are essential! Don’t rely on your word processor’s spell check. If you’re serious about being an author, have your work professionally edited. Typos and grammar errors turn off readers big time. Also, make sure your book is formatted perfectly for the platform you’re publishing on. EBook publishing is not for the technically illiterate. If things like HTML and PDF scare you, hire a professional to format your book.

Don't take criticism badly. Rejections and bad reviews come with the industry. If you flip out every time you get one, especially if you do so publicly, your career as an author will sink like a stone.

Don't spin content. Just don’t. Readers want fresh, original and well-written content. Spinning content is sleazy and produces garbage. Just don’t do it!

Product vs. Ego

Why self-identifying as a creative type will get you nowhere

In this age of automatic self-publishing, the number of people who consider themselves to be writers and artists has skyrocketed. Everyone and their step-mother is a writer these days. Or so they'd tell you. But the more ubiquitous the label becomes, the more its social value decreases. These days, it seems almost like the first step to becoming a writer is to stop calling yourself a writer.

By that, I mean that we're all getting a little too caught up in the romance of artistic identity. Writers used to have to struggle after external validation in order to be rewarded with any scrap of self-fulfillment. Now, all it takes is a few Wordpress followers and your ego's satiated.

But there's a difference between people who create real written work and girls with quill tattoos who complain on Tumblr. (Mind you, I'm much closer to the latter category if I'm being honest with myself.) The difference is what you choose to feed. You can feed your craft or you can feed your ego. If you chase after your work, wrestle it to the ground, and try to improve it for its own sake, you'll get better as a writer. If you chase after your ego, you'll find that it's readily satisfied with a few internally directed pep talks and maybe some encouragement from your parents.

It's much easier to feel like a writer than it is to be one. Feeding your ego makes you a lazy worker because it's easy. It's easy to type up a couple of stories, declare yourself a writer, and then wonder why they don't get published except by you. Unless you're committed to the quality of the work you produce--unless you're willing to tear down your own words and build them back up again--you're never going to hone your craft to the point where other people think you're a writer, too.

Now that creativity is the norm, self-criticism becomes more essential than ever. Don't create because you want to feel like a creative person. Create because there are monsters inside of you that demand to be released. Release them. Help them grow. Don't let them run off as soon as they're out of you. Become the caretaker of your own product. Become a loving and selfless parent to your work--the kind that truly cares about the well-being of your offspring for its sake, not for your own. And stop getting trendy tattoos to label yourself as a creative. They won't motivate you to write more. Only you can do that--through discipline, self-flagellation, and the abandonment of the ego.

How To Annoy Clients and Lose Gigs

The competition for most web writing jobs is fierce. If you’re one of the lucky ones who has been able to build a clientele, here’s what NOT to do if you want to keep them.

1. Miss deadlines. Okay, once or twice would probably not be too detrimental, but make a habit out of it and you’ll find your income sinking like a rock. Writers need to be disciplined and reliable. One of the most common complaints I hear is of writers who ignore deadlines.

2. Outsource. I know it’s a pretty common thing to do, but I advise against it. First off, many sites have strict rules against doing so, and you’re running the risk of outsourcing to writers who will turn in their work late or write so poorly that you’ll have to rewrite it anyway. Another thing to consider is if you do outsource regularly, your posts on various message boards asking for help may give the impression that you are too disorganized or irresponsible to manage your workload. Use caution.

3. Take on gigs you aren’t qualified for. If a client is looking for someone to write about software development and you’re a tech illiterate, don’t think research can make up for it. Your inexperience will show. Stick to writing about what you know.

4. Get sloppy. Never turn in work without proofreading and double checking your sources. No matter how proficient you think you are with grammar, I promise you’ll still make mistakes. We all do. Don’t rely on spellcheck either because it won’t pick up on errors like meet/meat and sail/sale.

5. Plagiarize. Stealing is wrong. Need I say more?

Writers Beware: The QWERTY Effect

The QWERTY Effect: The way we type may be changing the way we feel about language.

There is plenty of evidence that our language is being manipulated by technology. I see it whenever I grade students’ papers and come across “idk” (“I don’t know”) as an answer. We see it in the way that verbs like “Google”, “Friend”, and “Facebook” have entered our common parlance. We even see it in the way people refer to themselves; “connected”, “networking”, “switched on”, “plugged in”. However, there’s a less overt way in which technology has molded our language, and it’s been happening since the 19^th century; the “QWERTY Effect”.

The QWERTY Effect, coined by cognitive scientist Kyle Jasmin of the University College of London, proposes that typing words can change a language just as much as speaking it. “As we filter language, hundreds or thousands of words, through our fingers,” he wrote in the Psychonomic Bulletin and Review, “we seem to be connecting the meanings of the words with the physical way they’re typed on the keyboard.” The letters Q, W, E, R, T, and Y are the first six on the letter keyboard beginning on the top left, which is what gives the “QWERTY keyboard” its signature arrangement. Jasmin’s study of the QWERTY effect hypothesizes that the letter arrangement on the right-hand side of T, G, and B are simpler, and thus more positively imbued, than those on the left. In other words, people react more positively to typing those words and, subconsciously, are more inclined to use them. This wasn’t by accident.

When typewriters first came into widespread use, it became apparent that the layout of the keys was causing them to jam. Some letters that are used in nearly every other word, were too close together and, if typed fast enough, would jam the typewriter. As a result, inventors created the QWERTY layout, which was sold to Remington Co. for use on their typewriters and, as people became familiar with that layout, it stuck. Now, in the 21^st century, with the ubiquity of personal computers that all employ the time-honored QWERTY layout, the effects of these subtle language distinctions are magnified. When typewriters were used by a fairly small group of people, and even in the advent of desktop computing, there weren’t the sheer number of people using them and succumbing to the QWERTY Effect. However, now that the QWERTY layout is used in nearly every piece of computing equipment and the amount its used to generate content is increasing exponentially, the QWERTY Effect may start to have a measurable impact on our language.

Smash Journals: Fun for All

Smash Journals: Different than Regular Journals

I first saw the Smash Journal at a boutique paper shop down the street--in the city I live in, this is not as uncommon as you may think--and wasn’t altogether impressed with the journal. Of course, that may have had more to do with the expensive price attached to the Smash Journal than anything else.
When I saw the Smash Journals at Target, I was sold. At $12.99 a pop, the journals were a total bargain. I picked up one for me, my friend, and my friend’s daughter. When her daughter opened it up, she asked if it was a grown-up journal.

I replied that it was, but that she was creative and verbally talented enough to do it. The best part about Smash Journals is that almost anyone could do one (if they were willing.) The journal actually comes with a pen/glue stick that makes it easy to glue whatever is on hand into the journal, which in the case of my friend’s daughter was the napkin from the place that we were lunching/journaling at.

The Smash Journals I saw had places for top ten lists in any order, likes and dislikes, and a wide variety of other writing starts. The “empty pages” weren’t exactly empty either; there are cute drawings and pictures on almost every page. One of the drawings looked so much like it was in pencil that my friend’s daughter actually physically tried to erase it. (For the record, the erasing didn’t work. The picture and words were not actually written in pencil as young girl had assumed.)

The only Smash Journal mistake that I’ve personally made so far is a tad bit embarrassing; I actually showed my friend and her daughter a comment that I had written that contained PG-13 material. I did manage to hide it because her daughter is not 13, but I do recommend using writer discretion when Smashing--or Smash Journaling--because Smash Journals are for sharing, while traditional journals are not.

Smash Journals seem to fall more in the realm of scrapbooking, which is something that I haven’t done as much of. Scrapbooking seems to fall more under the category of public domain, whereas journaling tends to fall into the private domain for a very important reason: journals and diaries aren’t meant for anyone else’s eyes.

They are private. Smash Journals, which are more like scrapbooks, are meant to be shared. Just not with everybody.

Distraction as Motivation

How to harness the internet as a productivity tool

I and many other technophile writers have talked at length about how the internet can be a cruel mistress. On the one hand, it allows us to research and publish our work more quickly than ever. I can't imagine typing up and physically sending a manuscript to an editor anymore. It seems so quaint, so antiquated. The instant gratification of publishing on a blog for the whole world to see is one of technology's finer pleasures, I think. But at the same time, being constantly connected means that we are always standing at the edge of an abyss of distraction. Sure, we could be working, but there are videos of kittens we haven't watched!

I think one of the hurdles we all must jump in this day and age is learning how to harness the raw chaos of the internet for our own productivity. I've written before about how to channel one's mind into a productive zone despite the temptations of the great online wildernesses, but I'm beginning to believe that that same jungle can actually be used to motivate productivity. It all depends on how you think of it.

For example, you could see YouTube as a danger zone to be avoided at all costs when trying to get things done. Or you could view it as a motivator. Write 500 words, get one funny video. Personally, I need that sort of release. I can't shut myself off from my own sense of humor, my own need to be distracted. The trick is to grant yourself viewing time in bursts. It's all too easy to hook yourself up to the Tube for hours, but limit yourself to one Balloon Shop skit as a reward to keep you going. The absurdity will revitalize your brain and keep your sentences from getting stale. Or treat yourself to the new xkcd, or glance at the front page of Reddit for no more than five minutes. Whatever you've got to do to keep the ossification at bay.

The internet is wonderful in that it contains things that will shame you for not writing. Open up a Write Or Die session if you need to hammer out a raw piece fast, or sign up for 750 Words in order to make your daily writing ritual an externally tracked obligation. Sometimes it's nice to be connected at all times. Just don't fall into the quicksands of endless StumbleUpon clicking or infinite Tumblr feeds.

Streamlining

In the working world where it is difficult on the best of days to balance time between your personal life, your working life and writing, time for writing can get lost in the shuffle.

Today I’ll be writing some suggestions to how to streamline the writing process so you can get to your writing, and still have time for your loved ones, your work, and maybe even a few minutes of relaxation.

1) Have a list of things you want to write about: Planning is everything, and having a read list of subjects to write about, or genres to write in will shorten the time you spend trying to figure out what great idea you’re going to wow the world with when you get to plant your butt in front of your screen to begin creating.

2) Cut out the distractions: Isn’t that TV show great? How about your Twitter feed, what’s going on there? I haven’t checked Facebook in 10 minutes! OH NOES!

Relax. Turn off all the distractions. Unless you are writing about what’s going on in your Twitter stream, you don’t need it on. Writing is supposed to be you, the blank screen (or page) and your ideas all coming together in one space. The more that is going on besides those three, the less likely you will actually get any writing done.

3) Edit when you are done. I don’t know about you but I have something of an issue with this one. I find it hard to not stop in mid-sentence if I see something I don’t like and correct it, but I’m getting better at just writing and letting the mistakes be mistakes and fixing them when the writing is done.

The typos won’t kill you if you leave them until the piece is complete. Sentence fragments, minor grammatical errors and the like are all problems that can be dealt with after the fact.

Write first, edit later.

I knew I was going to be writing this post well beforehand so I already had it down on my list of things to write. The TV is off, there is no radio, no Facebook, no Twitter, no anything but me and word and my thoughts. I left several typos and 1 sentence fragment to fix until I finished writing the previous sentence.

Total time to write this piece. 12 minutes.

Word count: 398 (not including the words that are in or come after the words here in parentheses)

See? It works!

The Writer's Education

Get out of school and go learn yourself something

I have a poet friend who recently came to me with the news that he had not been accepted to either of the MFA writing programs to which he'd applied. He's a senior in college, about to graduate with a math degree from the same place I spent four years stewing. He's probably the most prolific writer I've ever known, the type who gets antsy if he's not producing work of some variety--be it penning snark-filled sonnets or remixing the dictionary into geometric compositions. He applied to only the most cutting-edge and selective of programs and, as the statistics might have suggested, he didn't get in.

As someone who's living without school for the first time in her adult life, all I could think to tell him was something along the lines of an old Mark Twain quote: never let schooling define your education. The adage rings true for people in most professions, but especially for writers. The longer you're forced to submit to exercises within classrooms, the more valuable research you're missing.

If you're a writer, every second of every day has the possibility of becoming research. Sometimes it's the most serendipitous encounters that ignite those writerly parts. I once got 50,000 words out of an sixty minute conversation. An hour of speaking led to a month of writing. If that's not cold fusion I don't know what it is. It's the kind of learning that doesn't happen in classrooms; or, if it does, it happens between the lines, in private conversations between classmates, in looks shared when teacher isn't watching.

The type of learning that provides the richest resource for writing is the investigations we perform on each other. It's discovering the shape of someone else's personality, meeting the characters in your future books, watching plots unfold slowly over the course of an entire relationship. It's subtle stuff that can't be taught and it's absolutely indispensable if you're going to write any kind of story or poem that's at all meaningful to anyone who's not you. You've got to go out, you've got to get hurt, you've got to get so frustrated you want to kick a baby through a windowpane, you've got to taste that sublime and inexpressible joy that comes with speeding hungover on the expressway under the April sun. Once you've bled a little, then maybe you go for the MFA. Maybe you don't. Maybe you sit at home with your stories, your poems, your plays. Maybe you share them with a few of the friends you've forged through unlikely dramas. Maybe you learn more from the way they laugh at your bad dialogue than you ever would sitting in a room with a tenured professor. There's no one course for this stuff. You're not a scientist; you're a writer. Go ahead and make it up as you go.

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