Writer's Remorse

Writer waxings and woes, on everything from client complaints to fee finagling

You Know You Are a Writer If...

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Sekuleo Gathers's picture
Submitted by Sekuleo Gathers on

You read articles and think..."they could have said it better this way"

Anonymous's picture
Submitted by Anonymous on

I read essays for English and get mad when i realize I'm supposed to learn from something i could have written 10 times better myself

Pete Rogan's picture
Submitted by Pete Rogan on

...you're in a spirited argument with your wife and she bounces a pork chop off your forehead and you stand there with a silly look on your face rewriting the scene for the play you just got the idea to write. Happened to Neil Simon. Punchline: When they produced the play, he got his wife to play the lead. And, yes, hurl another pork chop. Every night. Twice on Saturdays.

sparklyscotty's picture

Pete, that's brilliant!  Thanks for sharing. :)

DangerousBill's picture

...you've memorized the first chapter of Bulwer-Lytton's 'Paul Clifford' ("It was a dark and stormy night")

...you keep a picture of Jane Austen over your desk...and it turns you on.

...when you interrupt pillow talk to look up a word in the dictionary

...when you revise and edit your pillow talk afterward

...when you go to bed knowing that you've written the most mind-blowing sentence in the English language, and in the morning you wake up and put  it in the shredder

DB

 

Anonymous's picture
Submitted by Anonymous on

you have a conversation and later revise and edit what could have been said to make it bookworthy

Anonymous's picture
Submitted by Anonymous on

when youre searching for the perfect word and dictionary.com becomes your best friend

Michelle's picture
Submitted by Michelle on

haha, yes! I do that all the time!

Linda's picture
Submitted by Linda on

when you stare at people's garbage bags and try to create a character and a story based on the things they throw away.

Anonymous's picture
Submitted by Anonymous on

when you constantly analyze people to understand how to build more realistic and interesting characters

Anonymous's picture
Submitted by Anonymous on

when i have a character based on someone i know i have conversations with them i plan to use in my story to get their reaction

Dan Marvin's picture
Submitted by Dan Marvin on

... your friends all want to tell you about their idea for a book
... you start conversations with "My writer's group..."
... you've moved other people's books at the book store so yours is more obvious
... friends know not to bother to call if they want to get in touch with you, but you answer emails promptly (because even writers need a break sometimes)
... your desk is messy
... so is your inbox
... it's not a nice day out, it's a 'glittering jewel of a day'
... you end conversations early so you can go send the person an email to clear up what you meant
... every once in awhile you get a pleasant surprise when someone publishes something you forgot you submitted
... you read over something you wrote a long time ago (like 12 hours) and say 'wow, that didn't suck. Am I really that smart?'
... you read over something you wrote a long time ago (like 12 hours) and say "wow, that sucked. Am I really that bad of a writer?"
... you have a hard time ending lists of 'You know you're a writer when..."

Dan

http://www.danmarvin.net
http://twitter.com/Dan_Marvin

Erin McHugh's picture
Submitted by Erin McHugh on

You know you're a writer when you try listening to an audiobook so you can multitask, but find yourself sitting with a notepad taking extensive notes on the content instead.

Danae's picture
Submitted by Danae on

You know you're a writer when you open a notebook to write down an idea that suddenly crossed your mind and your pen is not moving, but your book is already finished!

in there -------> (mind)

Abha Iyengar's picture
Submitted by Abha Iyengar on

you are busy at your laptop in the midst of editing your anthology submission and you say yes to everything that anyone asks, and then find out later that you said yes to the colour of your room to be painted pink on one wall and red on another.

Anonymous's picture
Submitted by Anonymous on

I LOVE this answer. It's actually happened to me before. *Sheepish grin*

Richard Clinton's picture
Submitted by Richard Clinton on

 

When your niece asks you to review and rewrite her complaint letter to the airline that she wrote because they destroyed her luggage...and you do...and she gets satisfaction from the airline. 
OR
When you have someone's email address, are friends on Facebook and still prefer to send a handwritten letter because it is more personal and you picture them saving it in the back of a drawer somewhere for later rereading. 
OR
When people who have read what you've written ask when you're going to write some more.

When your niece asks you to review and rewrite her complaint letter that she wrote to the airline because they destroyed her luggage...and you do...and she gets satisfaction from the airline. 

OR

When you have someone's email address, are friends on Facebook and still prefer to send a handwritten letter because it is more personal and you picture them saving it in the back of a drawer somewhere for later rereading. 

OR

When people who have read what you've written ask when you're going to write some more.

 

Richard Clinton's picture
Submitted by Richard Clinton on

Wow...I wrote the above but guess that I still haven't mastered the simple posting technology...read for content, not for..well....the 'blooper reel' I guess.

Maria Pease's picture
Submitted by Maria Pease on

Wherever you go and whatever you do, your mind is always on looking at people and situations in order to find great characters and storylines for your next book! 

Anonymous's picture
Submitted by Anonymous on

spend more time reading daydreaming and writing... because stories are better than real life... unless you need new inspiration, then people are great

Anonymous's picture
Submitted by Anonymous on

i used to think i was wired differently (well writers i think are wired differently) than most others because i hardly paid attention to reality because my own imagination and the other stories i read were just soo much more interesting!

Nahla Al-Ageli's picture
Submitted by Nahla Al-Ageli on

You know you are a writer when to treat yourself you buy very expensive pens, notebooks and pencil cases. . and when the first shop you visit on holiday is a stationary one. .

Anonymous's picture
Submitted by Anonymous on

and your dream house was a library

 

and you promised yourself you would live an exciting life so your biography would be worth reading

 

and you want to travel the world just to be able to write about it

 

and you would love to meet your favorite author instead of your favorite popstar

 

and you admire Hitler because he used words so well that he convinced an entire country to believe him

 

and youre in 7th grade with 10th graders asking you to edit their English papers

Anonymous's picture
Submitted by Anonymous on

well i never really admired hitler, but other than that, yup. i'm the ninth grader all of my aunts and uncles call for stories and editing. and as for the other ones, i definitely fit this! especially the one about living for your future biography. :)

Anonymous's picture
Submitted by Anonymous on

when you constantly correct peoples grammar in your mind

Katrina's picture
Submitted by Katrina on

Your teacher asks you to write a two page short story and you end up writing a 10 page story instead.

 

You wish you had waterproof paper so you could write in the shower.

 

You see a picture of a person and immediately start writing a story about them.

 

A short story is never just a "short" story.

Katrina's picture
Submitted by Katrina on

when you keep correcting and expanding your original post : )

in 3rd grade you were extremely proud of yourself for writing an 80 page story.

You had a higher AR level than your much older brothers, when you were in school. (or is my school the only one that does AR?)

Anonymous's picture
Submitted by Anonymous on

this year, in fact, one of my teachers asked for 2 pages and i turned in 5 pages in the smallest font i could muster. another time, i had to write a short story and a sci-fi story for girl scouts (yes, we do more than just selling cookies) and they both turned out as novels! my troop leader didn't even bother to read them...what a waste.... 

Sallyperrywinkle's picture
Submitted by Sallyperrywinkle on

you've got a favorite brand/type of pen, so specific that it just doesn't feel right using anything else.

you begin to want to learn more about the  alphabet, graphology, and so on due to immense fascination towards writing.

Angelia Burton's picture
Submitted by Angelia Burton on

When you read all the comments on a topic titled "You know you are a writer if..."

Anonymous's picture
Submitted by Anonymous on

when everything you do has a narrator and the dialogue you use and hear is automatically edited to be bookworthy :)

Daylet's picture
Submitted by Daylet on

I have highly enjoyed this! I have a couple of my own...

A Thesaurus is your best friend, even when writing a simple text.

You use said Thesaurus because you do not want to use a certain word more than twice, for repetitiveness sake. 

I read other books and I am constantly at alert for grammatical errors. 

Nothing that you write is ever "simple"

You edit your own speech after it has been said. 

 

Anonymous's picture
Submitted by Anonymous on

You know you're a writer if you see random people on the street with unique features and immediately begin to write a character description in your head.

You know you're a writer if you rewrite your Facebook status at least 3 times before you post. . .and then go back and delete it, edit it, and repost it.

You know you're a writer if you finish watching a movie like How to Train Your Dragon and feel like you've discovered something incredible about life.

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